Week 9, Do a Rhyme, Its Test Time, I go to the hospital... time

The week started off stressful, and it ended stressful. But my faithful followers (mom,dad) already know that from the previous post. Ryan was sick so I had 8 classes to teach. It was review slash test week. I cant believe i just typed "slash" instead of just putting "/". For the kids who show up to class, the last week of the month is test week. For the other 75%... they take it the next week, maybe the week after that. Depends on what kind of mood I'm in and if i like the kid. If the students a nice kid and tries a bit and isnt disruptive, ill let them retake it. But if the kid's a total rabble-rouser (and i mean it in the meanest of senses) they cant take it.

I dont know what school system says "yea sure you can make the test up within the next 2 weeks if you want". Theres not much discipline there. Its weird to think that they enforce tucking your shirt in and wearing the proper shoes to school but not much with coming to test days. You better tuck that shirt in or else youll get a whack of the bamboo stick or a swift knee to the stomach. Oh you come to 30% of class and dont come to the test... take it at your leisure. I dont care if you were smoking in the bathroom in lieu of trying to figure out how to spell sneakers...even if youre writing sneakers next to the picture of a hat.

I even switched up the friendly "horeshoe" desk set up in the room. Supposedly thats the most effective set up for teaching. Its also pretty effective for cheating because the desks are so close to eachother. So i spaced them out, separated the bad kids (if they showed up) and weaved in and out of the desks.

Teaching is stressful and all but you know what makes it a bit fun only because I'm a loser. Pretending I teach at Hogwarts. No I'm not yelling "Lumos" when i turn the lights on in class or prettending im playing Quidditch on my Firebolt whilst sweeping the mess at the end of the day.

For the tests I like to put on a Professor Snape demeanor; storm into the room barking out rules magically slamming the shutters over the windows. I'd also have the ability to change the student's page from across the room which would be most helpful. Students would fear me. I can make them do the exercises on the board too with a simple "Imperio" giving me control over the student.

For the classes I like, I try to be friendly like a Dumbledore. He lets good students such as Harry get away with anything. The kids who joke around in class lighten the mood and if silence them itd only be bad for my image and the class. So they can joke around a bit, answer their phone if necessary, fly the flying car into the whomping willow, drink butter beer, and venture up to the 3rd floor corridor.

This blog entry is totally weird. Maybe its because of all the pills i am. About 4 types to be exact. I'm hopped up on the C (Cipro), and the R (Ropermide), and the Scales (Librax), and these pink ones that dont have a name. (Get it... Libra, astrology, the scales, nevermind). So my stomach hasnt been feeling too good for the past few days and it turns out that I got what Ryan had before. But as far as hospital bills go, mine wasnt what Ryan got before. I went to the same place (Mission Hospital), but seeing that it was packed wall to wall with masked asians (not ninjas in this sense) I decided to go somewhere else. I went to Bangkok Hospital in Phuket today (Sunday). Which is like saying the California hospital in Rhode Island. Anyway the place was gorgeous. It was like the taj mahals of hospitals. If Bangkok Hospital was the taj mahal, Mission Hosiptal was a blind surgeon who bought a PhD certificate off of Koh Sanh road (which is possible i believe). I might trust this hospital over the budget one. The budget one might tell me i have cholera and dysentary and that they need to remove my appendix.

I got 5 medication things and a whopping bill that my insurance didnt cover because of what i understood as "gnome on we foreign paintin's". (only for in patients)

"....I didnt catch that. So I do have to pay the 2,800 baht?"

"Yes yes, pay pay"

"F#@k f#@k, sh*t sh*t"

Dont worry, they dont understand swear words, although my students have a better understanding of swear words than the concept of they and we.

My weekend and Monday drug testing hijinx

8 weeks down, 8 to go. we just passed the halfway point. We celebrated a bit on friday via going to the Timberhut. Its a two story bar with some locals and westerners. DJ until midnight, live cover band until...whenever. Some random thai guys we sat next to were quite friendly so they gave us some johnnie walker. they even gave us a ride home... the one who wasnt drinking the johnnie walker. This is not how you get kidnapped, this is how you get a free ride home.

We saw Johnny Depp in Public Enemies on Saturday. A few thoughts:

1. It was long; 2.5 hrs long

2. It was shot weird. Intense HD, almost too realistic for a film about 1934. Plus the camera was shaky.
3. I want to rob banks now.

4. Johnny Depp is a good actor.

5. Christian Bale is a horrible actor.

Sunday, Jill and i explored Kata beach. We didnt go to the beach but we did go in some backroom where a lady was selling DVD's. I got 4 of them for about $7. I bought Burn After Reading, Bruno, the new Harry Potter, and finally...The Beach. After going to where it was filmed twice and finishing the book on the boat over there, I finally found a copy of it that works. Previous attempts have been unsuccessful. One illegal DVD didnt play and made my computer sound funny. One legal copy from iTunes was just a gray screen with no audio. So i finally got a working copy and it wasnt that great. The scenery was good, the story wasnt exactly the same as the book (which is always the case (so im told, i dont read books)), and the screenplay kinda sucked.

Now im not a professional movie critic. Nor am I the movie goer that thinks Transformers 2 deserves 15 oscars because of explosions and Megan Fox. I just thought Public Enemies and The Beach couldve been better.

Anyway back to why I'm really in Thailand. The teaching. Theres always a chance of an eventful day. Today was pretty eventful in my book.

Ryan was sick yesterday and couldnt come into school today. so i covered for him. That means i got no lunch and had extra kids in my classes. I gave two tests which most people tried to cheat on, I tried my best to limit it. There was what we believe to have been drug testing. The director of the school tried to explain to us what it was. But through his broken english and most hindering, his swine flu mask, we didnt really understand what was happening. He said check body....(incoherent words)....heroin. So sure, lets assume it was a drug test. They were testing the younger kids though; 15,16,17 years old. Im sure the older kids in my classes that have marijuana leaves on their bags and bracelets wouldnt pass the test. Well they would pass the test meaning its bad... because failing it would mean you're clean. Ah, if only those kids in my classes would pass my tests.

I had strawberry yoghurt covered cracker sticks for lunch when i spotted 4 girls creeping on the balcony outside my window. They laughed and i just neverminded them but then i saw them in the next room trying to evade someone. They tried to explain to us that they didnt want to be somewhere and what makes sense is that they didnt want to be drug tested. This is just us assuming again. We tried to take a picture, not for evidence, just because it was funny. Then they ran off and we didnt hear of them again.

Sixth period i played a reading game. Yknow, read the acticle answer the question right for your team, get a point. I pinned my class against Ryan's class thinking mine would be OK, at least theyd try. The score was 14-7.5. 1.5 of my class' points were pity points from the other team. Half of the 30 kids in the room werent paying attention, but half of those were mine, half of those were Ryan's, so it was fair.

Seventh period, only 19 kids come from a 40 kid double class. I just have them do a review. These are mine and Ryan's worst classes. The good kids showed up leaving me to assume once again that the trouble makers and rabble-rousers all got caught with meth, coke, heroin, and PCP and couldnt come to class. A big assumption but at least they werent in class.

Eight period, no one shows up. Maybe they're getting drug tested. Jill and I play pictionary on the whiteboard.

Good thing we didnt get tested, we wouldve been positive for Teaching Enhancing Drugs. (insert laughter here). TEDs is what theyre called on the streets.

Links to my photo albums

So heres a list of my photo albums from facebook. its a lot easier than posting pictures on the blog. plus ive gotten lazy and writing takes too much time. i focus more on the visual things. so no books or writing for me. just pictures and videos. just click the link (the blue underlined text). well heres a bunch of albums, this should keep you busy for awhile m&d.

5/10

Getting There

5/16

Koh Phi Phi

5/16

Koh Phi Phi part 2

5/17

Around our Hotel

5/29

Jame's Fire Dance

5/30

Elephants and Sunsets

5/26

Small album of the Night Market

5/?

Trips to Kata Beach

5/21

Teaching Practice - Govt School

5/24

Teaching Practice - Phuket Technology College

6/21

Kamala Beach and Sea Gypsy Village

6/22

Phuket Marathon

7/9

Koh Chang Day 1

7/9

Koh Chang Day 2

7/9

Koh Chang Day 3&4

7/19

Second Trip to Koh Phi Phi

Random Observations about Thailand

10/06/09

Day 7 on the job. My first week done and I feel as though im getting into a rhythm. The first few days were stressful though, I felt like I needed to make an impression and really plan the lessons. I did make an impression and I did plan those lessons to a T. But I learned that the lessons you plan don’t go… as planned. You need to think on your feet and have a back up plan. Your exercise might go horribly wrong because they don’t understand it or they just don’t want to do it.

My “getting to know you exercise” of 2 Truths 1 Lie doenst always go over so well. So I model the exercise in front of the class, explain what truths are, and what lies are. “My name is Paul…TRUTH”. “My name is John…is my name John? No… that is a LIE”. They go “Ok, Ok”. I do an example of my 2 truths 1 lie on the board and I think itll be easy from there. I have kids come up and write theirs on the board. First person writes theirs. OK, I am a student, I play football, and I like banana. “Which one is the lie class?”. The three kids participating raise their hands for different ones. I tally them up and then ask the student, “so which one is the lie”. He looks confused so I point to each one asking, “is this the lie.. is this the lie”. He goes “No… all truth”. Alright, note to self, student on right hand of class follows directions well. My directions probalby werent good enough, teacher remodels exercise…. Some kids had some elaborate lies. One kid wrote “I play football for mansheter u”. So either this kid plays soccer for Manchester United or hes lying. I think the whole class saw through that one. The best lie though, hands down was this one kid in my Hotel class. He wrote “Today, I no come to school”. On closer consideration, I realise that I already wrote about this in a previous post. And on further consideration, from now on Ill use the British spelling of words like realise and organise because I am no good at typing the “Z” key. Plus they write in British spelling anyway over here. But behaviour and favourite can be nixed.

So I’ll take the time now to touch upon some subjects from school. Upon writing that I realise the subjects would be about the students and I wouldn’t want to touch upon the students; that’s wrong and it violates the Teacher-Student relationship. But awkwardness aside, here it goes.

Homosexuality

It seems to be quite the norm here. Its not that it is just accepted, it seems to be cool. Kinda like a fad thatd be weird to look back on. Like in elementary school, “Hey Paul, remember when Gameboy and Tamagachis were cool”. But itd be weird to say “Hey, remember in high school you were gay?”. Everyone knows that Thailand is famous for their lady-boys. I don’t ask for their life stories or the details of their weekend. Although I do have writing exercises about their weekends, but they keep it PG. Now I’m not knocking being gay or anything, they can do whatever they like, but it is just very different to how it is in the states. They are very open about it. They do their mascara and make up in class and they have all the standard mannerisms. The boys usually sit together and the gays sit with the girls.

Not only do the gays have purses, every guy in Phuket Technology has one. Now they are not the standard purses you might see in the states but more like bags. Theyre square cloth bags with a small shoulder strap that is worn high up. Man bags is what I call them, or European Carry Alls. “Its not a purse, its European”. Why I know seinfeld references and don’t watch seinfeld is beyond me.

The weirdest part about them is that they all flirt with me. Ok, awkward 1. im your teacher, 2. inappropriate, 3. it’s the middle of class. They call me pretty and always go out of their way to say hi to me around school grounds. I dropped my white board marker once and I bent over to pick it up, I think one of them had a field day with that. Now if only I got that much from the female persuasion in the states and who werent in my class.

Thai Nicknames

So naturally I cant pronounce anything in Thai right and do not want to butcher as personal as a name. I feel bad for taking roll call at the beginning of class. I always empathise with the teachers, who on the first day of class, took attendance and said “Im really sorry if I mispronounce anyones name”. Luckily they have nicknames, right? Wrong. I don’t know if they made these up at their previous english class or if they just wrote some objects in a hat and picked one out. Or maybe they took a bunch of letters and put them together. I don’t know the method to their madness, all I know is that they all get a good laugh as I mess up at least 3 a class. I have to write notes to myself on the attendance list.

So looking through my class list. Okay, some normal ones, Sara, Lily, Jay, Mario, Pepe, Don. Fair enough, some legit English names, some with an Italian or Spanish flair but that’s fine. Moving to more questionable names we get: Bell, Yam, Mad, Nun, Touch, Art, Koy, Bum, Paint, Cat, Boot, Day, Gun, See, Breez, Marina, Boat, (maybe boat and marina should date) and Ben. Oh you think Ben’s a normal name, Ben’s a girl, so… not that normal. I got about 150 students, I got more names don’t you worry. Questionable names level 3: Kaow, Af, Beuk, Oh, Gif, Mook, Da, Yeen, Opor, Pu, Nood, Ju, Nop, Nu. By the way Nu is a spelled with an umlaut over the U. Yknow, the two dots used in the German language.

And the best nicknames in my classes are Aoun (pronounced more like Ow-in), Aod (pronounced more like odd which I mess up everytime and the students love it so I just yell OWD all the time which makes them laugh). Ple (pronounced Pun… yea that’s beyond me), Pupay (pronounced poopay, a little toilet humor), Nompeung (that’s Nompeung’s nickname), Muvy (pronounced Moi). My all time winner is Kwan. That’s how you pronounce it, I cant even spell it in MS Word. It is spelled on my sheet “K-M-(backwards N)-Y”. I need to download the Russian characters for Word if I want to spell this name correctly.

I have a lot of students, its hard keeping track of all of them and its even harder when I cant remember or pronounce them. Some odd ones stick out and I remember their faces. The ones that participate and say hi to me I remember too. I try but its hard with so many kids.

Thai Laziness

Thais are lazy. I don’t know if were just on island time because im on Phuket or its this way nationwide. Theyre just standardly lazy, not just the kids but the adults. The only thing theyre not lazy about is hassling you for a taxi or their low priced product for me. The school system doesn’t give homework because they know they students are too lazy to do it and if one person does it they all copy it. Well maybe the reason kids in America are the slightest bit disciplined is because were made to do homework and theres consequences if we don’t do it. The teachers cant say, “eh, theyre not gonna do it anyway so why give it”. They’re never gonna learn that way. I think the teachers are just lazy, they don’t want to grade anything.

One Thai lady was telling a story about how someone had to go to the hospital. The injured person sent a person to call the ambulance but instead left to go gossip about something. I don’t know what the injury was but I could imagine. “No its OK. Wait you said who got voted enough American Idol? No, go on with your conversation, I’m only imploding”. A sense of urgency wouldn’t kill you, but lack of it might kill someone else.

Don’t get me wrong, the kids are disciplined but just in a different way. Today the 10th, was a discipline-ful day. My coordinator tells me I wont have 7th period because of the police coming to give an assembly. Apparently a teacher arrested a student (can I do that?) for smoking in his class room. Now the kids smoke in the bathroom, im sure they all know that, but I guess smoking in the room is different. After the trek to my first period class, I look down to the basketball court. I see students in formation getting yelled at. Is it like back in elementary school when you lined up to go in after recess and the best behaved line got to go in first? Well no one wants to leave recess, no one wants to leave class so I can see why that would happen.

But the consequences for them are much more severe, consequences that would bring a law suit and CNN coverage for months. They hit kids with canes or bamboo sticks. There was a line outside my office for people to get hit in the ass with the bamboo. One by one they would stand in front of their classmates and stand perpendicular to the teacher, he’d hit them and they’d go off to class. I also saw at multiple times during the day kids doing jumping jacks in the sun while the teacher sat in the shade twirling a bamboo stick. Its hot out, I have to walk up about 5 floors to get to my room and I think that’s torture enough.

A bunch come in late to my first period class, I realise that most of them were being disciplined so I don’t mark them late; I don’t want to add insult to injury. Unless it becomes a problem then Ill mark them late. The kids do need to be whipped into shape so theyre not so lazy, but not litterally whipped.

My Diet

So I havent lost weight like the rest of my friends here but theres a reason for that. A simple equation does the trick. Lack of regulated food + busy days + too hot to run + everything has sugar in it = a stable weight. So I guess Id be losing weight if I just had the chance to run. Im just so tired after work that I usually nap.

But the Thai food here is weird. Its like you love Panda Express at home and say “wow I bet the Chinese food in China is a million times better”. Its not the same here, at least not in my mind. There are some good places, but no places that really just blow my mind. The foods good, but it is literally the same everywhere you go. I like the street food because its cheap and I feel like Im on a Travel Channel show. So envision me as an Andrew Zimmern or Anthony Bourdain without the large gut or nicotine habit. If you havent watched their shows I highly recommend to. The street food seems that it would be purely Thai and not like the made up restaurant stuff. But the food is all the same, youd think that everyone worked for a chain. Theres chicken on a stick, fried chicken with the same spices at every stand, some sort of meat balls on a skewer, meat rolls, and sometimes theres noodles. Seriously every “meat balls on a skewer” are the same meat balls. They have the same products, same deep fryer, same display case. Im starting to think theres a Food Stand Start-Up kit at the Thai Walmart down the street. The chicken on a stick is very standard and they even have the same hot sauce at every one. Its that bright red sauce you see if you order spare ribs at a chinese restaurant back home.

The street food is all on stands that are attached to their motorbikes. I think anyone can start up their own food business with the right materials and a little engineering to attach it to their motorbike. So if anyone has the will to start one, they can. That means no license is necessary. The FDA would have a heart attack if they came here. Last week I saw a rat run out from the sewer and to the area where all the street food was. (I ate at the same place this week). No regulation. I shouldve known, theres no real laws in Thailand. This is the land of the free, unless youre getting hit by a cane. I stay away from the fried chicken unless it comes from KFC because the oils not regulated. I heard they use the same oil day after day without cleaning it. Im pretty sure that’s the opposite of healthy. We can save you the effort of consuming the chicken by directly injecting the dirty oil into your blood. I just ordered rice from one of these places and they topped it with fried chicken scrapings. To health!

The standard chicken on a stick with red sauce

“The food in Thailand’s really spicy”. I heard that advice multiple times before I left for here. There was a tie with that quote and “watch out, some of the girls there are really dudes”. So two valuable tips that I already knew. Two tips that you could probably write a Thai travel book around. But anyway the food is spicy. They make it pretty bland for us westerners because they know were not used to it. But there is some spicy stuff out there, the school food is all so spicy.

Octopus on a stick

So its either really spicy or really sweet. Today I had pad thai and they have some fixings on the side like peanuts and chili flakes and sugar. Sugar? On noodles? Yea, I think its their equivalent to how we use ketchup. But everyone gets sugar on their stuff. Everything’s so sweet here or so spicy. I think that Thai people have diminished taste buds thanks to evolution. They need extreme tastes to get some sort of flavor. I hope I get used to the spicy foods and go home eating whole chilis. I don’t want to brag, but back home I could eat a Volcano Taco from Taco Bell no problem.

First Day of School

It spells "P-Tech"

2/6/09

You can only wear pink on Tuesdays. And you can only wear your hair in a pony tail one day a week… it looks like you choose today. If you break any of these rules, you cant sit with us” – Mean Girls

That quote summed up the clothing style on my real first day of teaching. So not really the pony tail part but you can only wear a pink polo on Tuesdays. And if you wear it another day, you have to change. The pink polo needs to be a King’s polo; a polo with the King’s emblem on the chest of it. I knew the rule ahead of time, but I didn’t know that EVERYONE of the P-tech staff wore one on Tuesdays. Sidenote: Mean Girls is a funny movie, you should pick it up at your nearest Netflix retailer or wherever fine movies are sold.

The snooze button got some more attention on from me this morning. It was set for 6:38am and I slept until about 6:55. Random times I know. I had to wake up early the morning before and I ran and I just wanted to sleep, teaching English can wait. Eventually Jill knocks on my door all dressed up and im still in my shorts. Hold on. I change in the flashiest of flashes and meet them at our favorite meal place…. 7-11. I just get a green tea.

It’s exactly a mile to the school, I mapped it out on mapmyrun.com. The suns not so intense but when we get to the school, Ryan looks like Ian did yesterday. His blue shirt has now become dark blue and his hair was dripping. We sign in and sit back down in our AC office. Last minute check to see if I have everything. Book, CD, whiteboard marker, student list. Good, now to conquer the steps to my classroom.

I have to climb those steps everyday to the 2nd to top floor.

723, that’s where all the learning and fun takes from now on.

Maybe 721, 722, and 724 because those are Jill’s, Ian’s, and Ryan’s rooms respectively. First period, 8:30 to 9:20. 50 minutes of teaching? Here come the kids, game face Paul, game face. Gotta be the serious teacher now. The class is DV Tour 101-1. That’s diploma level tourism 101 group 1. The diploma level kids are in black trousers or skirts with white tops. The certificate level have blue ties or bows, and blue skirts. The blue is not the standard Royal blue, but a lighter hue. It would match my newly purchased sheets but since you cant see them, think of a shade in between navy blue and baby blue. Got the visual? Ok. These kids look more like business professionals and are older than the kids last week I taught.

I start off by introducing myself. “Hi, im teacher Paul, good morning class”. A few good mornings are said in return to mine. Ill just chalk the lack of response to the fact that im the new guy and its early. I tell them to pass around the attendence sheet and write their nicknames down on it. It circles the class and comes back to me with names like Ali, Gif, Nood, Pai, Manow and Ben. Ali doesn’t sound weird, but it’s a guy; its pronounced like the boxer. Ben doesn’t sound odd but its for a girl. I write a few lines with blanks on the board so we can do some introductions. But first I have to explain what an introduction is. I have each person come up to the front of the room and introduce themselves to me and the class.

The format is: “Hi my name is _____”

“I am from_______”

“I like to _______”

“After graduation, I would like to ________”

Big mistake throwing the word graduation in there. I made them repeat it a bunch of tiems and explained it as best I could. I said that “after graduation….like after college, after you are done with college”. I was introduced to a lot of students that had big dreams after college. They said “after grashuaton, I would like sleep”, “after gradua…., I study”, “after graduashoon I want to go home”. Obviously they misunderstood what graduation was, I didn’t mean the time after 3:30pm Monday through Friday. T remodels for Ss. (that’s a little shorthand from my training course) Teacher remodels for students if necessary. So like an old house or the old lecture halls at UConn, some remodeling was definitely needed. They eventually understood and the rest of the intros went smoother. The rest of my lesson was all about introductions, how are you, im good, nice to meet you, nice to meet you too. It was the first page of the lesson I was supposed to teach, they apparently are good at that but not much else.

The rest of my lessons go pretty much the same; getting to know you game and then an introduction lesson. One of the getting to know you games was “2 truths and a lie”. That’s where you write just that, and the rest of the class has to guess which is the lie. Nice little way to learn about your students. But I had to explain truths, and lies, and give many examples. Some kids got the concept better than others. I applaud some of their lies though. One kid said he played for Manchester United. But my favorite lie was “today, I no come to school”. A real toughie, unless the lack of sleep is playing tricks on my brain and youre not really writing that on the board.

Ryan and I combine classes later that day because I have 5 kids in mine and 4 in his. Ok 9 between 2 teachers. Time to do introductions and 2 truths and a lie. As the class which was so cozy and manageable goes on, more kids start pouring in. They were all late by at least 15min. They came in waves. You know how I hate waves… and by 30min into the class, there are about 35 kids. Trying to play 2 truths and a lie was hard with them, so many repeated instructions. The class was definitely too big.

Next class was Business Communication. These kids were wearing that shade of blue, theyre the younger kids. The younger kids, the Certificate level get the books for free. The Diploma level kids have to buy the books. So naturally no one from the DV has the book. I don’t get the system, I feel like the smarter, older kids should be given the books. Anyway, I just play “introduce your friend” with the young kids and then move into some quick listening work. Class is over before I know it.

Alright, 6th period, my last class of the day, its another DV class. These older kids seem way more lazy now that I just met with the younger kids. These kids ( I call them kids but theyre anywhere from 18-24, theyre still my kids) just don’t seem like they care. It’s the first day so I let anything slide. I play a quick reading game with them. I split them into teams and ask them questions based on some photocopies I gave them. They seem to be more attentive now and less lazy. All they needed was a game to wake them up. The game was in a deadlock at 4 points each, I had to come up with a tough tie breaker. One of the companies from the reading was about Oregon. So I made sure that they knew the cardinal directions; north, south, north-east, etc. and went from there. “Ok who can tell me where Oregon is in the US”. A lot of “huhs?” are heard and no one is scrambling looking for answers now. They just guess blindly. Team 3 guesses NW first off but changes it. The others guess N and S. I tell them to try again. I get E, W, and NW. Team 3 guessed NW again and they won. The group of 4 girls just screamed. Calm down, you just won a meaningless game in my English class by guessing where Oregon is on the map. You just got excited about oregon, people from oregon don’t get excited about oregon. But the class is over now and I finished on a high note.

Hard at work.

Its 1:50, alright my day ended early. ehhh, my classes ended early but I have to stay at my desk until 4 oclock. Time to get some lesson plans done. I open some books but am just so wiped from the class that I cant bring myself to write some. I just zone out for a bit and then look at the chapters in the book. Theyre not gonna have the book anyway… zone out. Well now I have to come up with something new, so im gonna…..zone out. I’ll wait until im home, nap then work when im energized.

Do you think I stuck to my plan?? No, I went home, got a red bull (which are illegal in the US because they have amphetamines here) to stay awake, got some chicken on a stick with rice, went back home, layed down, used the internet, ran with what energy I had, cooked a ramen, got a water and chocolate milk, and then started lesson planning by around 8pm. Can you tell im tired and I don’t feel like writing anymore? Its 11:09pm and im tired. Is this what the real world’s like? Waking up early, working, going home from work and working, being too tired to do anything, and then going to bed before midnight? I sure hope not, I’ll try to spice up my routine. Don’t say spice, my stomach cant handle any more.

Ok well over and out, im getting delerious so im gonna hit the hay, or hit the rock because my bed is absolutely horribly stiff. I got 6 classes to teach tomorrow, wish me luck.

My First Job... Teacher

Horrible picture of me on my first day. Its 7am, give me a break.

1/6/09

Today was my first day of my first job out of college. I didn’t actually teach today but it was more of an orientation. I was shown around the school. My desk, the computer room, the library, and the canteen.

We left at 7:15am from our apartments, Phuket Place. We nix the first 7-11, its flooded with locals. The next ones just down the block,we’ll try that one. Jill and Ryan get a coffee that’s 60% sugar, 5% coffee and 35% water. “I’ll never get this again” Ryan says as he grimaces and takes a sip. Its quite common for everything to be chock full of sugar. Leave it to the Thai to make something healthy unhealthy. The fruit juices at the stores are all sugar, even their dishes have sugar in them. Theres a jar for sugar along with the chili flakes and fish sauce on the table. I get a green tea that’s also too sweet and a butter croissant. You gotta pick your battles at 7-11. Hopefully the 15min walk to school will help me walk off the crap I eat in the morning. The walk isnt too bad at 7:30; im not sweating profusely. By the time I get to the hill up to school I start to sweat. All the kids are hanging out by their scooters and along the way up to our office. The stares don’t help my attempt to stop sweating. Ian is in a worst place than I. Patches of his white shirt have become see through. He obviously didn’t wear an undershirt. First impressions are important, and I didn’t want to be known as the sweaty teacher for the rest of my time here.

I’m allowed to wear shoes in the office despite the fact some teachers around me arent wearing any. An extactic “Welcome, welcome!” is thrown at us from Belline (or Billy I think actually is now). So Billy takes us out of the air conditioned room and outside towards the basketball court/ampitheater area to watch the morning assembly. The kids are lined up youngest to oldest, right to left. The older kids are wearing black and white instead of the white and ocean blue ive been seeing most of the time. The loudspeaker rattles off some announcements that I obviously cant understand. I just make up some random standard morning announcements. “The chess club will be meeting after school promptly at 4:00pm. The cheerleaders will be having a bake sale to raise funds. If you have a red scooter, your lights are on.” I don’t know whats going on, but Billy tells me that the national anthem is up next. Two girls slowly raise the red white and blue up the mast as a girl sings the anthem into a microphone. The crowd of 1800 behind her chimes in at certain parts. No “Lets go Huskies or Yankees” interupting this anthem. The songs quite short and the two girls hoist the flag up faster to match the ending of the anthem.

Theres a quick prayer for Buddhists and Billy says we don’t have to be out for that. Plus he can see were very hot and he says we can sit in our AC office. Thank God, or thank Buddha… I don’t know but at least we’re cooler now. Ian needs a fan bad. Jill holds one up to his back to cool him off. His shirt becomes opaque once again and Billy summons us for a quick tour of the place. We walk infront of the 1800 kids again. Im trying to walk with a certain attitude about me, like “don’t mess around in my class or ill hit you”. Ok maybe I wasn’t that serious, but once again, first impressions are important. I want to be the kids’ friends but I don’t want them to step all over me. He shows us another office with some important people and where to log in and out.

My first day here Billy mentioned a computer room with wireless. Later that first day I walked by a room full of typewriters. I hope that’s not the wireless room that Billy spoke of, I thought. The school isnt that technologically advanced despite being a “tech” school. I now know that he was talking about actual computers. Up the stairs now past more kids. “Hi teacher, hi teacher”. Keep it serious, wave, look like you mean business. Now were in the computer room. 15 minutes here to do some errands. No new messages in Gmail, lets see whats happening in the world of ESPN. Cavs lost, fuck that, no Kobe LeBron in the championship. The Red Wings are beating the Penguins in game 2. I have no TV, but hopefully I can get stream some of the games through my computer. Computer time is over. On the way out I see a sign that says “The success in business lies in English”. Therefore the success of these kids is in my hands. That’s a big responsibility. A big responsibility I can talk about in job interviews and on my resume.

Next stop is the library that takes up about as much room as my apartment. The books are in thai and theres a few more computers there. Then we walk down the steep staircase that leads to the canteen. I am choosing to avoid these stairs at all cost. Imagine if you fell down the stairs in front of all those kids. You would get laughed out of the school; lose some face. We need some water, 5 baht for the budget brand, 8 for the branded one. Lets drink these in our AC office. There billy shows us our schedules, or “timetables” as he calls them. Mine is quite full. Theres 8 periods a day. I have a few breaks, key word A FEW. I have 29 out of the possible 40. So 11 breaks, 7 classes on Friday. That’s my Friday! I havent had Friday classes since sophmore year of college. Last semester senior year I only had classes on Tuesday and Thursday. What a change. My professors didn’t even have this many classes. Whatever, ill just have to do this.

“these are not final, I will give you the final ones tomorrow” billy says about our timetables. Im wondering how much my timetable will shift now. Will I get more classes, less classes? Will my Fridays become 8 periods a day? I’ll wait and see for tomorrow. The timetable lists my books as well. 6 books for 6 different classes. Ian and Jill only need 3 books. How is my luck just so damn good? Ryan has the same number I believe too. Much of my time is spent color coding my schedule, asking questions, and trying to understand what I have to do for tomorrow. Oh I have 5 classes tomorrow using 4 books? And I have one class that is 100min long? Fine, yea sure. Our day ends early but I’m still overwhelmed and sweaty. We leave at 11:00 but from then on, ill be working until 4pm.

I just had a look at my book for the tourism class tomorrow. It’s called “English Know How”. The first lesson is all about introducing yourself and the verb “to be”. Easy stuff, for me. I bet its hard for them. English is such a messed up language with little consistency making it hard to memorize. But I’ll do my best to help these kids tomorrow. I need to buy a mattress pad because despite the bullshit claim of “the most healthy mattress technology from Thailand”, its hard as a rock. If this job wont be the death of me, the bed surely will. I also need a sheet because my kit I bought came without a sheet. Thank god it included 4 pillow cases though. What a weird country.